It's no secret I'm not a huge fan of blogging. Really though, it's not the blogging I take issue with, rather it's the part of me that knows if I start to read one or write one even, I'll be addicted. So I've steered clear. Until now. So bear with me as this is my first blog post, ever!
The trouble is that I'm frustrated with my job, and by extension my boss. The trouble is I have virtually no life outside of work. The trouble is I am starting to feel the pangs of loneliness. The trouble is that life, as I know it, has recently decided to open a rather large can of 'whoop ass' on me...and it's winning.
Some may say I seem unhappy. Others might tell me that I need to get my ducks in a row and CHANGE IT, so I won't be unhappy. I say, "Where do I begin?" It's not that I'm entirely unhappy, but I know that it's there and I've become afraid of the person I see myself becoming. A pessimist who has become un-trusting and wallowing in self-pity. That's not me and anyone who has known me for any time prior to these past 3 months, knows that. It's not that I don't want to change it. I do. But how? I've only been at my job for 6 months and it's not even the work that's frustrating. It is one factor and one factor only...the dreaded boss. We got along fine at first, but somewhere along the lines things have changed and it's been a bitter pill to swallow. There are other things I won't go into, but they're there. They might not add up to anything much, but it's always just enough to get me riled up.
The thing is during my fits of rage and feelings of loneliness and frustration, I also know that it could be worse. I have perspective. It might not always seem that way but I do. I know things could turn on a dime in one direction or another. So why do I still get so mired down in the day-to-day things that I know everyone goes through at one time or another? Why can I not grapple with something that seems so trivial and simply make lemonade with the lemons I feel I've been handed? How can I effectively invoke change on my own?
Words of wisdom are appreciated. :)
Posts
The paradox of insular language
7 months ago
4 comments:
My dear Miss Reeves,
This seems like the sort of post that one does not just reply to in the cute comment space, but rather the sort of post that one replies to by phoning their dear friend. That noted, I also felt like adding a short comment, since my phone time is limited by my two little darlings (the Demand-o Twins). First. I love you. Second. I think that it is human nature to be dissatisfied with a part of life at any given time. Even people who seem to have the "perfect life" are always looking for something else, or the next thing, or a change. Usually it isn't too disruptive, and this feeling can even give us something to think about or work toward--a new goal or a shift in paradigm to ponder.
Unfortunately, it seems your situation is more than disruptive. I am so sorry. It seemed like such a great new challenge to start a new job and now you find yourself in a crappy position. I'd say that it's worth it to set a goal for yourself--say, by January you'd like to have a new job (or, if you'd rather put in the full year, then make the year your goal). Then you don't have to focus on it seeming neverending or overwhelming, you can focus on how it's going to be over soon. My friend Elisha recently was in a similar position and actually it was for a nurses recruiting firm; weird, eh? Anyway, she set herself the goal of working there a year in order to tolerate her horrible boss and then focused on assigning herself projects there that she cold brag about when she was applying for new jobs. I don't know if you have this kind of freedom, but anything helps.
In the meantime, I think it would be helpful for all of us if we could set a concrete date for another of our wonderful reunions. I could definitely use the goal to work toward. I find myself completely buried in diapers and a lack of adult interaction, especially with no close girlfriends around with whom I can let my hair down. I love my kids but they are usually pretty overwhelming on a day to day basis, and the idea of something to look forward to in the future would be helpful to me. (Did you hear that everyone else?)
Anyway. Someday soon I will arrange to have Miles sleeping and Nat playing with Søren so that I can call you. I love you.
Rhiannon
Danielley,
It was good to be able to talk about this with you over the phone, and hopefully bring some encouragement. Things seem pretty complicated at the moment, but I will continue to pray for clarity and for the Lord to show you that "right next step" that will keep you from feeling confused and frustrated. Love you girl.
Danielley! Thanks for sharing this. I hate that this is something you're doing through right now! New jobs are tough enough, but then to throw in a bad boss makes what is supposed to be an exciting time in your life a struggle. I, too, would love to talk with you in person about this, so let's chat soon. Love you!
LG
here is what i have learned about life.
as long as you are breathing: YOU AIN'T DEAD YET!
I have always been a big believer that if something is "sour" in your life-it spills over into all the aspects..
I suspect we all can relate to you.
I do.
And on that note, I think I will sign up for paino lessons and get Jared in full time daycare.
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